How to be a better communicator



Contributing Writer
Photo: Cell Phone Credit: Zanetta Hardy


Everybody has some tip or trick for how to become a better communicator. Take a class. Join an organization like Toastmasters. Speak more often. Set up some sort of strategy when attending a networking event. All those tips and tricks are beneficial – they usually work – but I think the heart of being a better communicator is found in being a better listener.

Listening is hard work. Anybody can “hear” what another person is saying but actually “listening” to that person is difficult. If listening were easy, the saying “in one ear and out the other” wouldn’t exist. Listening, active listening, requires a person to be present and to be engaged. How does that work when a person is focusing on being a better communicator?

  • First, listen to yourself. Record yourself speaking. Begin to note the areas where you stumble. Try to analyze why you’re stumbling. Is it nerves? A lack of preparation? Both can be countered, although nerves may be the more problematic one.
  • Second, listen to your audience. This step is two-fold. You have to listen to what your audience says as well as what they don’t say, i.e., their body language. Do people in the audience ask questions during the question-and-answer portion of your speech? Do they give you feedback following your speech? Is that feedback in agreement with their tone and body language? What do people do while you’re speaking? It can be hard to evaluate what they’re doing in today’s age; a person could be texting or tweeting, but he or she could be taking notes. Even so, it’s still a good idea to attempt to understand what people are doing and how they’re responding while you’re speaking.
  • Third, measure results. If you desire to become a better communicator because you want to increase leads or revenue or to gain access to other speaking engagements, you need to measure your efforts. Use the tools you have available to you even if that means using an Excel spreadsheet. Also record which speeches have the most impact. Don’t become too tied to those topics, particularly if you’re speaking about popular topics, but keep those topics in mind when preparing subsequent speeches or talks.

What tips do you have for becoming a better communicator? Do you think listening is one of the most important things you can do as a communicator? Why or why not?

Erin Feldman

Erin Feldman

CEO/Founder at Write Right

Erin Feldman is the founder of Write Right. She is a copywriter and editor. She helps people tell their stories.

Erin Feldman

@erinmfeldman

I’m Write Right, and I’m a copywriter and editor. How can I help you tell your story?

How to Find Inspiration http://t.co/gNASzF1x5E – 36 mins ago

Erin Feldman

Erin Feldman

Erin Feldman

  • http://leaderswest.com Jim Dougherty

    Erin – I love this post and it’s such a great reminder not only to listen but to understand the context of the situation when we’re listening. A great way to start off the week – thank you so much for this awesome contribution!

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  • http://www.HugSpeak.com Lauren Hug

    Hi Erin! Great post! Listening is such an important part of being an effective communicator. By putting the audience (others) first, we are more capable of connecting, meeting needs, and reaching mutual understanding. Interestingly, when a speaker focuses on listening to and thinking about others instead of worrying about their own presentation, nerves tend to take a back seat.

  • http://www.writerightwords.com Erin Feldman

    Thanks, Jim! I enjoyed writing it.

  • http://www.writerightwords.com Erin Feldman

    Thanks, Lauren. Your comments mean a lot since you’re a speaking coach. :) I hope all is going well in Colorado.

  • http://twitter.com/gonzogonzo Frederic Gonzalo

    Great post, Erin. Listening is indeed a key success factor for speakers and in everyday life, for that matter. My old man used to tell me: “Son, you’ve got two ears, one mouth. So you ought to listen twice as much as you talk.” Wise words that I try to apply at work and at home, but it ain’t always easy… ;-)

    Having said that, one thing I find useful when speaking is not only listening to your audience, but knowing your audience beforehand. Trying to get as much information about the crowd, whether it’s small group or a room filled with 300 people, what’s their trade? Or what are they seeking, i.e. practical examples? how-to descriptions? motivational talk and humor? It’s often a blend of all of the above, but it’s of the utmost importance to know the audience in order to convey a powerful communication.

    Cheers from Quebec City,
    Frederic

  • http://twitter.com/JpaulPhilippe jp

    Thank you for you post, as a person born form another
    country I have always been unenthusiastic and any public speaking and
    taping myself, but now that I’m involve in building a network your advise is
    welcome and refreshing. You know what they say “Nothing is impossible to the
    willing mind”

    -jp

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