If you remember a few years back, a couple of guys hit comic gold with site called “Stuff white people like.” The Atlantic put a fine point on the intended target of the satire, identifying “a very specific demographic sliver of left-leaning, city-dwelling white folk.” Hilarity ensued.
There’s another niche demographic of people ripe for satire. Let’s just call them, “social media people.” Social media people aren’t your typical Facebook user. They are the uber-networked, multi-platform using, perpetually connected, self-proclaimed experts / gurus / mavens / deities who may moonlight as a social media consultant and / or bloggers. Often idiosyncratic, sometimes pretentious and always opinionated: social media people are everywhere and they have certain “tendencies.”
What do “social media people” like?
Here’s is a sample of things social media people like:
# 16 Being a Social Media Expert
Social media people are driven by the quest to be considered experts in their niche. Why, because being considered a social media expert is what makes stars out of ordinary people like you and me. SMP learn to wear the title “expert” by other social media people claiming to be experts on teaching them how to be experts. I think you get the point.
Do I want to be a social media expert? Yep. Next question please……
# 15 Being on EVERY Social Media Platform
We social media people love using social media and all the platforms available. SMP do NOT use social media for fun. No no no. SMP create social media strategies and social media tools to get the best value from each platform. SMP pride themselves on figuring out the latest social media platform so we can write a post about it or develop an online course to teach other SMP how to use it.
#14 Facebook (loving and hating it)
SMP have a love hate relationship with Facebook. When Mark Zuckerberg and his hackers introduce changes to the platform, SMP go crazy. They take Facebook analysis to the extreme by writing articles about the platform’s imminent demise. Ask SMP what social media site you must use, and the first thing they say is Facebook. Hmmmm……
# 13 Comments
SMP might not need the last word, but they must be part of the conversation. Social Media People view comments as part of the holy grail of measuring effective social media campaigns. SMP are among the first to make comments on the most popular blogs. They will stalk a favorite blogger to see when she is likely to post. SMP comments are full of substance, and they often hijack the conversation from the blog author bringing attention to their site. Some consider it tacky, but SMP will link to their content in the comments of other blogs.
SMP take seriously comments left on their blogs as well. In fact, they agonize over how to get you to make a comment about their content. If you do comment, expect the good SMP to respond to your comments. Relationships are everything!
#12 Sharing inspirational quotes, articles, tips, etc.
SMP like to share things that make them sound like experts in their niche such as articles, tips, and inspirational messages. You’ll rarely find SMP wasting time on Twitter talking about random subjects, even though it makes SMP seem robotic and scheduled. It’s beneath SMP to sit around tweeting their thoughts on reality television or other common conversations. SMP will tweet, or post an article telling other people how to sell their personality on social media networks, but they won’t do the same. The world could be trending about breaking news, but you better believe SMP will be posting “social media or content marketing” advice. Most SMP don’t realize many of their posts are ignored.
#11 Newsjacking/Breaking News
“I called you crazy, I called you a bitch, but I never called you fat.” These are infamous words from a man trying to decide whether to lie or tell the truth. SMP will newsjack the Lance Armstrong interview with Oprah, and have a post ready before the credits roll at the end of the show. SMP could care less if Lance Armstrong confesses or not. All they care about is attaching their content to the story. SMP headlines might be something like: Yes or No Could Lance Armstrong be Good for Your Marketing, Live Wrong: How Lance Armstrong’s Lies Could Help You Build Your Brand.
SMP are master researchers. Dedicated SMP will spend hours reading everything they get their hands on. It helps them buy time before they start writing their content. Writers block and procrastination are a mutha.
#9 Monetizing (EVERYTHING)
Social media people share one goal in common, and that’s monetizing their content. Don’t believe the hype when they offer free products. Truth is, free products are hook for future sales.
#8 Content Marketing
SMP are famous for marketing content about online marketing to other content marketers. In fact, the biggest (if not the most lucrative) social media business is teaching strategies to develop social media business.
#7 Networking at Social Media Conferences
OMG! Social media people are insane about “relationship” building, and the social media conference is the perfect place to make new friends. The conversation usually goes something like, “Hi I’m Jan, are you a blogger? What’s your niche? Do you have a card?” Heaven help you if, you haven’t figured it out yet.
And God help you if your new BFF finds out you have a large social network.
#6 Large Social Media Networks
SMP humble brag about the size of their communities while saying size doesn’t matter. Enough said.
#5 Anything Guy Kawasaki, Seth Godin, and Brian Clark Says/Sells
SMP follow these guys like the disciples followed Jesus. Amen. Social media people will run over themselves to buy their books and drink their Kool Aid.
#4 High Klout Scores
SMP are quick to tell you Klout scores don’t matter, when actually they are proud of high scores. SMP are more proud when their scores are as high as a celebrity. SMP secretly worry when they lose a few Klout points. They won’t admit it.
#3 Going Viral
To SMP going viral is like winning an Academy award. EVERY post SMP write is published with the hope it will go viral. New Media Expo classes teaching SMP how to go viral are always packed. SMP dream of quitting their day jobs, pursuing their dream jobs, and using social media to live the good life.
#2 Celebrity Retweets, Mentions, and Replies
When a celebrity connects with SMP, everyone will know about it. SMP retweet and repost the conversation with said celebrity. Social media people love celebrity retweets, mentions, and replies. Why, because celebrities have massive social networks. SMP recognize the value of the social proof celebrity endorsements provide.
#1 Being/Becoming Social Media Celebrities
Make no mistake, no matter how much they protest, Social Media People want to be social media stars! Everything SMP do is to become a breakout star in their niche. Why else would SMP hang on every word of SMP who “made it?”
Self-disclosure (Social media people LOVE self-disclosures)
I am one of the social media people, and I’m damn proud of it. I don’t fall into every category, but I’m guilty of a few. Say something bad about
Guy Kawasaki Brian Clark and see what happens (see his comment below).
What do you think? What do social media people like? I double dog dare you to leave a comment.